


Spectrum

by Hopestallion



Series: teen wolf songs [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV), teen wolf - Fandom
Genre: Alcohol Abuse, Other, mention of drug use, mention of fears, mention of rape, mention of selfloathing, mentions of selfhate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-12
Updated: 2014-08-12
Packaged: 2018-02-12 21:59:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2126088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hopestallion/pseuds/Hopestallion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All is broken and gone, but sometimes you have to build it anew. It's like the spectrum of light, never stays truly dark.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spectrum

**Author's Note:**

> I had comforting Derek Hale feels and this is what happened. Pascal is mine, the rest is too, but Derek and Braeden aren't.

_Breathing you in when I want you out Finding our truth in a hope of doubt Lying inside our quiet drama_

Pascal didn't know where she was and if someone asked her? She didn't really care. Because that night, she wasn't Pascal, she wasn't a “Death Hearer” she wasn't whatever anyone wanted her to be. Whoever wanted to die? Had to do it somewhere far away, somewhere where she wouldn't hear or feel them. Because alcohol was like a thick blanket over her mind, numbing it all. Letting her sway in the crowd, let her body be part of the push and pull of bodies. Who cared for tomorrow? For yesterday, for the future or the past? There was only now and now was pretty good. Perfect even, with the music thrumming in her body, moving it, swaying it. She felt the hands on her hips, people pulling at her clothes and hands. Someone was brushing her hair away, to have his chin fit on her shoulder. A body behind her, another at her front, pulling at her blouse, opening the buttons. But Pascal didn't care, whatever the guy at the bar had sold her? It was fan-freaking-tastic. 

_Wearing your heart like a stolen dream Opening skies with your broken keys No one can blind us any longer_

Her instincts should have told her, that something was wrong. But they were shut off, they were buried so deep. Not even if she wanted to she could access them. The growl just sounded like the bass behind her, to which she payed no attention. Not when suddenly there was no movement anymore. When hands let go of her and the body behind her was gone. Her head moved to the right to see what was wrong, but all she could see was a chest, up close. “You had enough” the voice was deep, made a bell ring silently in her head, but there was no connection. Because for connections she needed her brain at it's best, it wasn't. It was put to sleep, together with all her other senses. “Hmmm... are you my dad?” she asked, more lalled than asked, her hands touching his chest. “No... died... my dad.. heard him die...” she mumbled and huffed, when her hands were held by the wrist. By bigger hands, that were pulling at her. “You had enough” he repeated, which made the blonde annoyed. Who was he to tell her what she had and what not. “Fuck off buddy, I was having fun and you...are no fun....” anger was good, anger was enough to make her say the words. Just for her to sway a little and stumble. Arm around her waist, grumpy-man moved her from the dance floor to the bar, against her will. 

_We'll run where lights won't chase us Hide where love can save us I will never let you go_

“Water” the man growled at the barkeeper, who had been so nice, to not charge her for her last whatever many drinks. She scowled against his arm, which was the only thing she was able to see. It would cost too much energy to lift her head completely and look at him. “For grumpy-man... I'll take whatever you gave me last time.” she grinned at him and leaned over the bar, to have some halt, since the man let her go. She knew the barkeeper was staring at her chest, but who cared? Apparently grumpy-man, because he let out one of those growls, that would have been sexy, if he hadn't just destroyed her last chance of a threesome. With whoever. “Only water, for her...” he moved his hand to have a hold on her arm and pulled her back, nearly pushing her on a stool, making her sit. “Whatever has gone through your mind. We're getting rid of it...”, “That's the game, grumpy-man.. no mind, no feelings, nothing... simply nothing...” she told him, couldn't help to giggle about herself and turn away from him, looking at the man right next to her. “And who are you?” she asked him, but instead of answering her, he looked over her head and paled. As if the devil was right behind her, the guy scrambled off from his seat and ran for his life. She was turned around by her shoulders and a bottle of water was uncapped in front of her nose. She took it and drank a few sips from it, pouting against the bottles rim. “You're no fun grumpy-man...”, “Derek...” he said and that was the first time she looked up, shocked blue eyes looking into his green ones.

_We'll run where lights won't chase us Hide where love can save us I will never let you go_

“Let go of me....” her voice was betraying her, because inside she wished he'd keep the hold on her arm. It felt like the world was being pulled out beneath her feet. And if he let go? She would have probably fallen to the floor. “Why are you here?” how panic and fear had sobered her up, she didn't know. Not entirely of course, because she'd have a better hold on her emotions. But right now she was afraid. She didn't want to do anything anymore, not after her parents had gotten killed, for protecting her. “You weren't at Stiles' and he was worried...” of course noble Derek, giving up his spare time to smooch Braeden to run off after a kid. “Well you saw me... I'm fine...” she pried his fingers off from her arm and gripped the bar with a tight, white-knuckled grip. “You can leave now” Derek didn't let her say a word more, when he suddenly moved so fast, it made her dizzy. His one arm was beneath her feet, the other holding her upper body against his chest. “You were drugged, have alcohol in your blood and were about to have sex with two guys, who have so many illnesses. My wolf wanted to throw up...”, “Well he didn't so... let me down, or I'll scream...” Derek was unimpressed as he simply carried her out of the club. “No use in screaming, told the sheriff already that I'm picking you up.” she hated Derek hale right now, more than she had hated everything and everyone in the whole time, before she had gotten to the club.

_Breathing you in when I want you out Finding our truth in a hope of doubt Lying inside our quiet drama_

Her face was pressed against the pillow, while she tried to block out either of their presences. “She won't talk to any of us...” that was Braeden and Pascal wanted to kiss her, for being smart. “She will have to....” Derek now, he'd get a punch in the face. “I'm going to buy some food, humans usually have to eat after such a night....” another kiss for Braeden. Derek didn't say anything, just let her leave, while his intense brooding-stare was directed at the back of her head. Making her neck prickle and little baby hairs stand up, her hair up in a bun. Braeden had done that, after she had thrown up her life in the toilet and her blonde hair, nearly had gotten in the way. And another kiss for Braeden, for being the awesome kick-ass bitch she was. Apparently broody-wolf had enough of just staring at her, when he cleared his throat the blonde prepared for any cliché sentence to come. “Why did you do that?”, “Cause I hate you... Was the best thing to fuck with you” she told him and couldn't help to huff, “Not in the hot, sweaty body thing....” she added against the pillow. Derek would hear her anyway, stupid werewolf hearing. “ he was unimpressed with her and that was what she could hear in his voice, when he said his next words. “You could have gotten raped...”, “Not rape, when I am willing” it was a lie. She didn't want sex, hated sex. She was not for nothing asexual and he knew it, that was probably why he sighed and got up from the chair. Leaving her in the room, after locking it from the other side of the door. Someone was pretty disappointed with her.

_Breathing you in when I want you out Finding our truth in a hope of doubt Lying inside our quiet drama_

Pascal firmly believed Derek was done with her, would let her rot in the room, until she wanted to talk. What she hadn't expected was, for him to show up again. With a weird wolf toy, that looked worse for wear. Her head tilted to the side, when he just crawled over her and to the side of the bed that was empty, his bed anyways. He stayed on the blanket, while she was beneath, his hand moving her even though the stuffed toy, was in one hand. She was the little spoon, the blanket between Derek's arm over her waist and her body. The stuffed toy held in front of her, for her hands to pick it out of his hand. Which she did, not even knowing why. “What...”, “Pshhh...” that was all he said, as he took her free hand with his own. She could see the dark veins that slowly crept up his arm and stopped at his elbow, sinking into his skin. Not saying a word, because he had told her to be silent, she waited for him to say anything. He didn't, while she started to feel a bit better, sleepy and yet somehow better. 

_Wearing your heart like a stolen dream Opening skies with your broken keys No one can blind us any longer_

“Our ability to take pain, doesn't mean only physical pain. But also the pain of the mind...” he explained after long minutes, in which she laid there and said nothing. “You were brave the last months and maybe we took that for granted. Maybe we didn't pay attention for the little things, but we should have...” he said and he couldn't see it, but probably smell the salt, as tears welled up in her eyes. “It's okay... I'm not pack... You didn't have to” she told him, while she tried to hold the tears back, proud that her voice didn't betray her. “Thats almost as stupid, as Stiles asking us to kill him, when the nogitsune was possessing him...” not knowing what to say the blonde just stayed there, the very first comfort she had, since her mother was gone. And that was it. The dam broken and her tears falling. She wanted to scream, but hiccups were the only thing she managed, as she cried for her mom. Who had been gutted out in the kitchen, in an attempt to give her enough time to run away. For her dad, who had been beheaded, had fought with his gun for her, to keep her safe. For the only family she had ever known. For those she'd never get back.

_We'll run where lights won't chase us Hide where love can save us I will never let you go_

Derek just kept holding her until she fell asleep. Hearing the pack in the living-room, knew that Scott and the others mourned with one of their youngest pack-members. And somehow he was reminded of Cora, of the wish to make it better. She wasn't Cora, but she was pack now and he would protect his pack, with Scott and the others. They would give her a new family.


End file.
